4. A Kick in the Rear

Bridge to Earth

2003.  I was caring for my infant daughter, still living with my ex-fiancé, and pregnant again, somehow, with his second child.  There seemed to be no solution, no end to this situation.  What does a person in utter desperation and unhappiness do when the present has fallen completely into heaps and the future seems dismal?  And there seems to be no way out of the trap?  One begins to wonder what life is about, what is the point, what is the purpose, and what does the future hold.  Is there any light at the end of the tunnel?  I had no religious convictions to fall back on or blame.  The vagueness and the lack of control over the future made me feel powerless, lost, and confused.  Okay, when the situation got this desperate and the future so uncertain, I admit I started perusing the psychics section of an online advice service.   I felt quite embarrassed about it.  It was not only my ego for falling to this level of desperation, but I thought that I would be the laughing stock of the scientific community if I were ever found out.  Especially as a woman in a male-dominated field, I had always felt I needed to come across as professionally as possible.

A cursory reading of some of the previous answers given to others showed me that the advice given on this free, volunteer-run site was, not surprisingly, hit-or-miss.  I looked carefully through the psychic volunteers’ profiles, finding someone self-described as a spiritual teacher, and briefly described to her my situation online.  I wish I could remember the exact words of her reply, but they were far from the gentle words of hope that I was looking for.  I also wish I could remember exactly what I wrote to her about my situation.  In any case, in her reply, she soundly admonished me for my indiscriminate sexual behavior as if I were a teenager, or worse, and tossed me two books I should read to start straightening out my life: Journey of Souls[1] and You Can Heal Your Life.[2] At the time I read her words, I felt all misunderstood and insulted, but you must understand when I look back on it now, how I laugh and laugh at the humble beginning of my journey.

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[1]Newton, Michael.  Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives.  USA: Llewellyn Publications, 1994.
[2] Hay, Louise L. You Can Heal Your Life. Carlsbad, CA: Hayhouse, Inc., 1984.